Musical Aberrations
by Melodyrider
Summary: Song parodies about life as one of Marvel's merry mutants!
1. The Claremontism Tango

_Disclaimer: This is strictly a musical parody using music belonging to Tom Lehrer and his related record companies as well as characters and concepts belonging to Marvel Entertainment. __No claim of ownership is made or implied by me in using their property or any part therof. No part of this work is intended for material gain of any kind. It is intended for the sole purpose of creative exercise and the entertainment of others._

This song follows the tune of _Masochism Tango_ by Tom Lehrer

* * *

**(The Claremontism Tango)**

What phrase did I hear from your lips, bub,  
Just one more of those fine trademark quips, bub.  
Here come those lines  
We've used many times,  
As we dance to the Claremontism tango.

No quarter will be asked, and none given,  
Wouldn't be polite to disappoint them.  
We talk a lot,  
So take your best shot,  
As we dance to the Claremontism tango.

Da, Tovarisch,  
I must say ungaublich,  
Until we all get sick... Cripes!  
It's catchphrase butchery.  
We did none harm,  
Yet harm was done to us,  
Another in our trust  
Of fine soliloquies.

My wrist has a blade-like abnormality,  
Psychic powers, it's my focused totality.

And look, here they come,  
Those weird guys who say "Yum!"  
Hope they're gone when we're done  
With this tango.

You think we jest  
But with us it's the norm, bub,  
Comes with the uniform, bub,  
Sayings that can enthrall.  
And I'm simply the best  
There is at what I do, bub,  
And the thing that I do, bub,  
Isn't pretty at all.

Ah'm nigh invulnerable when Ah'm blastin'.  
Sugah, that line makes us all want to grin.  
Me and my big mouth  
This whole caper's gone south,  
While we dance to the Claremontism tango.

By the white wolf,  
We still have more to say,  
Preparing our next play:  
Fastball special on "two."  
And our own fate  
Even our very lives,  
Mean nothing, so arrives  
More one-liners just for you.  
Goddess!

Take every cliché we can muster,  
And you'll see a pattern to our bluster.  
So just unwind,  
We won't be maligned,  
While we dance to the Claremontism tango.


	2. The Greenwich Village People Sing!

_Disclaimer: This is strictly a musical parody using music and some lyrics belonging to the Village People and their related record companies as well as characters and concepts belonging to Marvel Entertainment. __No claim of ownership is made or implied by me in using their property or any portion therof. No part of this work is intended for material gain of any kind. It is intended for the sole purpose of creative exercise and the entertainment of others._

This song follows the tune of _Y.M.C.A_. by the Village People.

* * *

**(X-M-E-N)**

Mutants, there's no need to feel down.  
I said, mutants, pick yourselves off the ground.  
I said, mutants, 'cause with good guys around  
There's no need to be unhappy.

Mutants, there's a place you can go.  
I said, mutants, when the bigotry grows.  
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find  
Many ways to have a good time.

Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.  
Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.

They have everything that you need to enjoy,  
You can use all your gifts with poise …

Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.  
Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.

We will fight for a world, that just hates and fears us,  
It's a dream that Xavier trusts …

Mutants, are you listening to me?  
I said, mutants, what do you want to be?  
I said, mutants, you can make real your dreams.  
But you've got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.  
I said, mutants, put your pride on the shelf,  
And just go there, to the X-M-E-N.  
I'm sure they can help you today.

Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.  
Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.

They have everything that you need to enjoy,  
You can use all your gifts with poise …

Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.  
Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.

We will fight for a world, that just hates and fears us,  
It's a dream that Xavier trusts …

Mutants, I was once in your shoes.  
I said, I was down and out with the blues.  
I felt no man cared if I was alive.  
I felt the whole world was so jive ...

That's when Xavier came up to me,  
And said, mutant, take a walk up the street.  
There's a team there called the X-M-E-N.  
They can start you back on your way.

Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.  
Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!.

They have everything that you need to enjoy,  
You can use all your gifts with poise …

Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!  
Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!  
Mutants, there's no need to feel down  
Mutants, pick yourselves off the ground

Save the day with the X! M-E-N!  
Let's save the day with the X! M-E-N!  
Mutants, are you listening to me?  
Mutants, what do you wanna be?

X! M-E-N!  
You'll find it with the X! M-E-N!  
No man, does it all by himself  
Mutants, put your pride on the shelf

X! M-E-N!  
then just go to the X! M-E-N!  
X! M-E-N!  
Mutants, I was once in your shoes  
X! M-E-N!  
Mutants, I said, I was down and out with the blues.  
X! M-E-N!


	3. Man Called Wolverine

_Disclaimer: This is strictly a musical parody using music and some lyrics belonging to The Beatles and their related record companies as well as characters and concepts belonging to Marvel Entertainment. No claim of ownership is made or implied by me in using their property or any portion therof. No part of this work is intended for material gain of any kind. It is intended for the sole purpose of creative exercise and the entertainment of others._

This song follows the tune of _Yellow Submarine_ by The Beatles.

* * *

**(Man Called Wolverine)**

In the town of Salem Center  
Gifted youngsters all study  
Try to live a normal life  
But we all have mutant genes

We have got a troublemaker  
Logan's his name, and he's mean  
And he drinks all of our beer  
He's the man called Wolverine

We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine  
We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine

He has claws that cut through steel  
And there's no wound he can't heal  
His one weakness is Jean Grey…

We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine  
We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine

We are filled with great unease  
Never knowing who he'll bleed  
But to him it's just routine  
He's the man called Wolverine

We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine  
We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine

We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine  
We all live with the man called Wolverine,  
Man called Wolverine, man called Wolverine


End file.
